


I wasn't ready

by Halevetica



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Derek has a boyfriend, Ex Derek and Stiles, Getting Back Together, Human AU, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Three Years Later, mentions of Allison, mentions of Scott - Freeform, mentions of Sheriff Stilinski - Freeform, mentions of talia, struggles of coming out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:35:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22445719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halevetica/pseuds/Halevetica
Summary: Lydia leaves of the fact that she invited both Derek and Stiles to her wedding which leads to an awkward meeting between the pair who haven't seen each other in three years. Things get worse when Stiles finds out Derek now has a boyfriend.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 27
Kudos: 318





	I wasn't ready

Stiles stepped into the loud room where the dancing had already begun. He scanned the room for Scott but didn't see his best friend.

"Stiles," Heather's voice jerked his head towards the left to see his old friend.

"Heather, hey," He flashed a wide smile at her as she pulled him into a tight hug.

"It's so good to see you. I didn't know you were coming," Heather beamed at him before allowing her eyes to rake over him.

He swallowed remembering their last night together. It was her eighteenth birthday and they had found out she was moving. They spent the night in the wine cellar.

"Flight got delayed. How have you been? How's New York treating you?"

She gave a non-committal shrug, "School sucks but it's almost over." Her smile was still as radiant as it had been in high school.

"It's good to see you," Stiles nodded. "You haven't seen Scott, have you?"

"Let's go fine him, I could use a drink." She leaned forward, "And better company," She glanced at her table where there were several people Stiles didn't know and a few whose names he couldn't remember.

Heather slid her arm into Stiles' as she led him through the room. He only knew about half of the people at the reception but that was to be expected, it was Lydia's wedding after all, she knew everyone.

"Stiles, you made it," Lydia pulled from a group of people, her mermaid style dress restricting her movement only slightly as she slipped by them.

"Sorry I'm late, flight got held up. You look beautiful," Stiles hugged the red head before glancing past her to her new husband.

"Jason looks amazing too," Stiles couldn't help but let his eyes scan the guy briefly.

"I know, doesn't he?" Lydia gushed. "So umm there's something I wanted to talk to you about really quick-"

Before she could finish though, the DJ came over the speakers to announce that it was time for the couples first dance.

"Shit," Lydia tossed Stiles a sympathetic glance before hurrying back towards Jason.

"Aren't they so cute together?" Heather sighed.

Stiles only nodded. He remembered a time when he had been crazy about the red head. That had been a long time ago. He was happy for her. Truly.

"I'm gonna get a drink," Stiles pulled from Heather's grasp quickly and made his way towards the back of the room where he'd seen the punch bowls.

He slipped through the crowd the best he could but he still managed to knock into someone, despite how careful he tried to be.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I-" The words fell silent when he saw who he had knocked into.

The soft sage of Derek's eyes were wide with shock. "Stiles." Derek was the first to break, saying the other's name like a breath.

Stiles instantly tensed. "I didn't know you'd be here."

Seeing Derek hadn't even occurred to Stiles. He and Lydia hadn't even been friends. Did Derek know Jason? That didn't seem likely.

"What are you doing here?"

"Lydia asked me to come," Derek answered simply.

Stiles' eyes narrowed slightly. "Why would she do that."

"You're the one who left," Derek's tone was sharp. Accusing.

Stiles' jaw clenched before instantly relaxing. "Can't even have one conversation without starting something can you?" A smirk played on Stiles' lips.

"You're the one showing back up and acting like I'm the one that doesn't belong," Derek countered.

"Still bitter, are we?" Stiles continued to taunt

It was Derek's turn to clench his jaw. Stiles really didn't care.

"Stiles, there you are," Heather reached his side, gripping onto it with both arms.

Derek's anger melted into confusion. Stiles was with someone?

"Oh, if you're busy-"

"No. Come on, let me get us those drinks," Stiles pulled heather away and towards the bar. He had nothing to say to Derek.

Derek suddenly felt like all the air was being squeezed out of him. He had been told Stiles wouldn't be there. How could Lydia lie to him? He bowed his head and closed his eyes, trying to push all thoughts of Stiles from his mind.

"Hey, Derek, you okay?" A strong hand came up under his chin, lifting so that his eyes met deep brown ones.

"Jake," Derek's voice said the familiar name with a sigh.

"You okay, babe?" The concerned features of the man should have comforted Derek and normally would have, but instead it only made Derek's stomach churn.

"I'm gonna get some air," Derek said in lieu of answering.

"I'll come with you."

"No," Derek responded too quickly, causing Jake to look taken a back. The dark features of his boyfriend pulled into a frown.

"Okay. Can I get you anything?" It was clear Jake only wanted to help, but Derek just wanted to be alone.

Derek only shook his head before heading for the large Lanai.

Stiles reached the drink table and was unable to help himself. He glanced over to where he'd left Derek to see a man now reaching out to touch Derek in a way that Derek would never have allowed from just anyone.

Stiles felt his hand falter around the empty cup as his years of FBI training allowed him to analyze the body language between the pair. They were dating. Derek Hale was dating this guy.

"Stiles?" Heather's hand landed gently on Stiles' arm as the, thankfully empty, cup clattered to the table.

A dizzying sensation washed over him. He hadn't had a feeling like this since his panic attacks in high school.

Not bothering to answer, Stiles pulled away from Heather and beelined for the empty Lanai.

He leaned over the edge of railing and fought to hold back the tears. It had been three years. Why did he care if Derek was with someone? Stiles should be happy for him.

The sound of the glass door behind him made him grit his teeth.

"Heather, now's really not a good ti-" He turned to see Derek frozen at the door, his hand still gripping the handle.

"I just can't fuckin' escape you, can I?" Stiles snapped. He knew his tone was harsher than it needed to be. But he was pissed. So fucking pissed.

Derek noted the anger in Stiles' voice. The taunting was gone as was the smirk. What had changed?

"I didn't know you were out here," Derek's tone wasn't nearly as stoic as he'd meant for it to be. His hand fell from the handle and to his side.

Stiles wanted to say something smart. To quip back like he always did, but what came out was something entirely different.

"What's his name?"

Derek frowned in confusion.

"The guy you're dating. What's his name?" Stiles clarified. He had no clue why he was asking this. Was he trying to torment himself?

Derek swallowed. So, he'd seen. "Stiles..." he sighed.

"I just want to know who was worth it to you," Stiles cut in before Derek could jump into whatever spiel he was clearly about to start.

"Don't do that," Derek growled. "I asked you to wait."

"I did. For two years I waited. And when I asked for something in return, I wasn't worth it," Stiles barked, taking a hostile step forward.

"So you're answer was to leave?" Derek's tone raised only slightly, and he remained unmoving.

"Yes," Stiles snapped. "Why would I stay? I had no reason to."

Derek's jaw clenched. "I wasn't ready."

"You look well adjusted," Stiles gestured to Derek.

"It's been three years."

"Or maybe you found someone worth it. I never did get his name."

Derek hated what Stiles was doing. Turning this back on Derek. Blaming him.

"Why couldn't you just wait?" Derek had never understood that.

"How could you ask me to wait even longer?" Stiles took another step forward, this one less hostile.

"I wasn't ready," Derek's tone was almost desperate, as if begging Stiles to see his side.

"When would you have been?" The doubt in Stiles tone told Derek that Stiles didn't think he ever would have been, not for Stiles.

"I don't honestly know. After..." Derek dropped his eyes. "After you left, I didn't want anyone."

Stiles' heart dropped in his chest at Derek's words.

"Jake's the first person I've been with since," Derek's eyes glanced towards the party going on inside.

"Jake," Stiles repeated the name. "How long?"

"Six months," Derek practically muttered.

Stiles didn't know what to say to that. It was better than two years, but it wasn't a couple of weeks either.

"Is he good to you?" Stiles' tone was gentle, timid almost.

Derek only nodded.

Stiles felt the tears welling in his eyes. His tongue licked at his bottom lip for too long as he nodded. He knew if he spoke the tears would fall and he swore he wouldn't cry over Derek Hale again.

"You found someone too," Derek spoke up next.

Stiles frowned, still not daring to speak.

"The pretty blonde on your arm," Derek once again gestured to the party. He glanced inside to see Jake watching him curiously. He averted his eyes, hoping that he wouldn't come outside.

"Oh, no," Stiles shook his head and cleared his throat.

Derek wished he didn't feel a sense of relief at that, but it washed over him like a tidal wave.

"She's an old friend I haven't seen since high school," Stiles turned away, hoping Derek wouldn't see the tears actively forming in his eyes.

"Stiles," Derek stepped forward but didn't reach out, afraid of how he might react.

"Derek, everything okay, babe?" A voice asked from the door then as the sound of music poured out onto the Lanai.

Stiles felt nausea bubble up in his stomach. He turned to see the man that had been worth Derek's love.

"Yeah, I'll be in in a second."

The man's eyes met Stiles, narrowing slightly. Instead of going back inside he stepped towards the younger man.

"You must be Stiles," He gave a tight-lipped smile and stuck out a hand.

"Jake," Derek reached for Jake's shoulder, hoping to pull the other man back. He then gave Stiles a pleading look, as if begging him to be nice.

"Clearly you've heard good things," Stiles quipped, taking Jake's hand.

"We're just talking," Derek said, his hand still on Jake's shoulder.

"Don't worry, I wasn't worth it," Stiles winked.

Derek's jaw clenched. "Would you stop saying that. You're the only reason I'm even with him," Derek barked.

"Excuse me?" Jake stepped back from Derek.

"No, I don't mean- I just mean-" Derek sighed. "I was so afraid of what happened with you, that I jumped into something I wasn't sure if I was ready for. It has nothing to do with who was more worth it. It has everything to do with the fact that you completely-Jake, please..." Derek looked over to see Jake looking at Derek like he'd just struck him in the face.

"Do you even want to be with me?" Jake frowned at Derek.

"Yes, of course," Derek stepped towards his boyfriend.

Stiles' jaw clenched.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why? Did you know he would be here tonight? Was this just a ploy to flaunt me around in front of him?"

"No. Trust me, I was told he wouldn't be here," Derek stepped forward and took Jake's hands in his.

Stiles wanted to look away, didn't want to see the way Derek's hand cupped the side of Jake's face. Didn't want to see the soft way Derek looked at him. Didn't want to hear the gentle words Derek used to assure Jake, but he couldn't turn away. He remembered what it was like to feel Derek touch him that way.

"Do you still love him?" Jake's voice jolted Stiles from his trance.

"What?"

"Do you still love him?" Jake repeated.

"We were never together," Stiles cut in then. They didn't need to go down that road.

"That's not what I asked. Do you still love him?"

"Don't ask me that," Derek shook his head.

Stiles scoffed, "He never loved me."

"That's not how he tells the story," Jake turned to look at Stiles.

"Let me guess, he also says I left him," Stiles crossed his arms. "But he leaves off the part where he forced me away."

Derek's jaw clenched once again. "Damn it, Stiles. How many times do I have to tell you I wasn't ready? How many? I needed you to wait a little longer."

"You couldn't give me a timeline Derek. I was putting my entire life on hold for you. I was understanding for two years. I waited for two years. I get it. You were scared. But you wanted me to wait more and I couldn't. I was miserable here. I had no more family. After my dad died I...I needed out and I...I needed you. You made me choose. That's on you."

"You don't know what it's like to not be accepted. My family was...unforgiving of that kind of thing. My parents would have never spoken to me again. I couldn't lose my sisters too."

"So what changed? What makes him so great?" Stiles' voice was rising once again.

"Nothing, that's just it. It has nothing to do with being ready. You forced this. I was so afraid I'd lose him like I did you, I did something I wasn't ready for. Laura acts like she's okay, but she's not. She only pretends like she's okay with it. Cora's fine but..." Derek's yelling turned into sobs.

Stiles instantly stepped forward to pull Derek in, but Jake was already there.

Stiles never hated someone more.

The way Derek wrapped his arms around the other man. The way Jake carded his fingers through Derek's hair.

"I'm so sorry, Derek," Stiles never meant for this.

"I think you've done enough," Jake growled.

Stiles stepped backwards and towards the door.

"Stiles, I've been looking for you," Lydia grabbed Stiles' arm as he stepped inside. "Oh no," She frowned at the tears in his eyes.

"You knew he'd be here, and you didn't tell me."

She pursed her bright red lips.

"I didn't want to tell you two before, cause I knew neither of you would show. But I was gonna warn you he was here so you could avoid him."

"Well that went swimmingly," Stiles snapped.

"How bad?"

Stiles only gave her a look, and that was answer enough.

"I'm so sorry, Stiles. I had hoped it'd been long enough," She rubbed Stiles' back gently.

The remainder of the evening was spent drinking until Stiles couldn't see straight. It made him glad he hadn't driven himself to the reception. Derek and Jake had left early apparently, which Stiles was actually thankful for. All in all, this had been the worst night Stiles had had in a long, long, long, time.

-

Stiles raised a hesitant hand up to the old familiar house. He wasn't even sure what he was doing here. He knocked three times and a sense of dread washed over him. He shouldn't be here. He needed to leave.

Before he could turn around and bolt down the old wooden stairs, the door opened with a soft creak.

A creak that Stiles instantly grew nostalgic for. He'd spent many nights at this house. The Hale's had been very close with his family. Especially after his mother died when he was eight. Derek and Stiles hadn't really grown closer until later years, what with Derek being a few years older than he and Scott. However, once the car accident took Derek's mother and uncle, it was just Derek, his two sisters and his niece. Stiles' dad stepped up and helped where he could. Luckily Laura was eighteen and they were able to keep the house. The house that Stiles was now at for reason's even he didn't know. To apologize maybe?

"Stiles," Laura's voice made him turn back around. She smiled at him with her warm blue eyes.

"Hey," He couldn't help but smile back. She had been like the big sister he never had.

"What are you doing here? God, it's been...years," a sadness tugged at her features that didn't go unnoticed by Stiles.

"Lydia got married last night," Stiles bit down on his bottom lip. Had Derek not told her?

"Oh, that's great to hear," She smiled, before glancing behind him as if expecting someone else. "What brings you here?"

A slight frown found it's way onto Stiles' face. Why else would Stiles be there? "Derek."

Laura's soft smile fell into a blank stare. "You won't find him here."

"What?"

"He moved out a few months ago," She dropped her eyes and straightened her already straight shirt. Avoidance.

"You kicked him out?" Stiles found the words leaving his mouth before he could stop them.

Laura's head snapped up. "It was an agreement."

"You really rejected him because of who he dates?" Stiles couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew Talia to be strict, but he had hoped Laura would be forgiving.

"I have not rejected my brother," Laura growled.

"He literally broke down into sobs last night because you can't accept him. He spent years being miserable because he was afraid of what you'd say, and he finally took that plunge because he wanted more for himself and this is what he gets in return. A cold shoulder from the person meant to love him most," Stiles gestured at Laura.

"How long has he been like this?" Laura asked, her eyes glistening with tears.

"That's not my business to tell."

"Damn it, Stiles. He won't talk to me. Not since..." She pursed her lips and looked out into the woods that surrounded most of the house. "Not since I suggested he move out."

"So you did kick him out," Stiles threw his hands up.

"No, I told him that I still loved him, but I needed to get used to the idea of him being someone else."

"Being someone else?" Stiles flailed his arms again. Since when had levelheaded Laura lost her mind? "He's the same person."

The doubtful look on Laura's face sent a rage through Stiles that he couldn't contain.

"Do you have any idea how many times I fucked your brother in the room next to yours? Huh? Only for him to no less than an hour later be joking with you at the dinner table?"

The shocked look on Laura's face was beyond satisfactory.

"And Derek may hate me for telling you this, but he already hates me so what the hell," Stiles threw his hands up. "We fucked around for over two years. I wanted to date him, god I wanted to date him so bad. But you and Cora kept that from happening. I waited for him for two years. I settled for the scarce touches under the table and glances across the room. The secret meetings in the bedroom when no one was looking. But I wanted all of him. I wanted the lazy mornings and the holding hands at dinner...he couldn't give me that because of you. I put off college and moving out of here for him, but he was so damn afraid of losing you."

The tears in Laura's eyes clearly meant Stiles had struck a nerve.

"You were more important than I was. I hated him for that. He wanted me to wait longer. I couldn't. I'd just lost my dad and-" Stiles swallowed. "I had to get out of here. I needed to stop standing still. I asked him to come with me. But he said you'd figure it out if he followed me. He wasn't ready to lose you. I got angry and I left. He's not someone else. You just didn't get see all of him because he was afraid."

"Why are you telling me this?" Laura frowned, wiping at a tear that slid down her cheek.

"Because the only reason he told you now was because he was afraid what happened with me would happen with Jake and he jumped the gun. I'm the reason you look at him like he's someone else and I hate that. He doesn't deserve it," Stiles licked his lips as he eyes dropped to the floor briefly before glancing back up to meet Laura's.

"I always knew you were into both guys and girls, but I never even imagined Derek would..." Laura trailed off.

"Why's it so bad? You don't look at me different? You treated me fine. Why would you see Derek any differently?"

"Our mother believed-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there. You're not your mother. What do you believe?"

Another tear fell from Laura's eyes as she shook her head.

"Do you love Derek?" Stiles asked, stepping forward.

"Of course, he's my little brother."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I guess there isn't one," She shrugged. "My mother always said that it was vile and a shameful thing, but I didn't understand why. I was trying to see Derek that way after he told me and it was hard for me to share the dinner table with him, viewing him that way."

"Why would you try to view him that way? You never viewed me that way," Stiles frowned, taking another step forward.

"I always knew you to be that way. I never had to change my views. I never saw you as vile or shameful. You were just...Stiles," Laura's tears were falling steadily now.

"Then that's how you should look at Derek," Stiles gave a hopeful smile as he gently reached up and wiped at a falling tear.

Laura reached out and threw herself into Stiles' arms, sobbing into his shoulder. "Thank you."

Stiles hugged back tightly, missing the way this felt. He'd missed the Hale family so much after he left. It had been hard to go, leaving everyone behind.

"I'm gonna call Derek," Laura perked up then, wiping furiously at the tears.

Stiles only smiled.

"Come on in," She gestured to the opened door.

"Oh no, I don't think that's wise. In case you missed the part where Derek hates me, it's best I'm not here," Stiles took a step backwards.

Laura's face fell, "Will you at least come by for dinner. I know Cora would like to see you. When do you leave again?"

"In the morning. I'd love to have dinner with you guys." Call him selfish but it had been a long time since he'd had a genuinely good home cooked meal. Or a Hale dinner, and Derek would likely not be attending.

"Great, be here at six. And Stiles, thank you so much. Not only for helping me to see things more clearly, I really was struggling, but for loving Derek. I can see how much you do."

"Yes well, I'm a few years too late for that unfortunately. Let me know how things go. I doubt he will," Stiles gave a sad smile before turning away.

-

Stiles spent the day catching up with Scott and Allison before getting ready for dinner at the Hale's. He hadn't had to get ready for a dinner at the Hale's in years. He grabbed a pair of slacks and button down before stopping. This wasn't work. He dug into the bottom of his bag and pulled out a nice pair of black jeans and a t shirt, before tossing the button down over top of it. This was still classic Stiles just a bit more put together and grown up.

Stiles was fairly excited for the dinner. He missed doing this. This was almost a nightly occurrence for a while. Stiles' chest ached at the memories from years past.

He hesitated at the front door just as he'd done that morning, unsure of how to do this without Derek. Without sneaking kisses in the hallway when no one was looking or brushing their hands when they were standing next to each other. He would have to do this alone now.

He forced his hand to make the knocking motion, though the ringing in his ears kept him from hearing it.

He wasn't sure he actually did it until the door swung open and Laura pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I'm so glad you're here. Thank you, thank you, thank you," She repeated.

Stiles smiled into the embrace. "I'm guessing it went well then."

The smell of garlic and onion hit his nose, making him close his eyes as memories tried to fight their way in.

"It went amazing," Laura gushed as she tugged Stiles into the kitchen.

"Who was it?" Derek's voice asked, causing Stiles to halt at the door of the familiar kitchen.

The conversation between the few people in the room halted as all eyes darted between Stiles and Derek.

"Stiles," Cora beamed, finally breaking the tension and stepping in to pull him into a hug.

Stiles returned in halfheartedly.

"Hey, Sti, good to see you again," Malia smiled from her spot at the table.

"What's he doing here?" Jake growled to Derek.

"I invited him. He's family," Laura smiled before ushering Stiles forward. "Well come on, don't be a stranger."

"I really shouldn't stay," Stiles' eyes didn't leave Derek's.

"None sense. You said you weren't leaving until the morning. You're staying."

"When did you talk to him?" Cora frowned at her older sister.

"This morning," Laura shrugged.

Derek's face went through several emotions. Confusion, terror, realization, before finally landing on awe.

"You talked to her," Derek spoke finally.

Stiles swallowed.

"Of course he talked to me. He told me everything. With far more detail than I might have liked but it was necessary. I'm glad he did," Laura shot Stiles another smile but he was too focused on Derek.

"Why?" Derek's tone wasn't demanding, but his tone was stone now as if he didn't trust Stiles' intentions.

"I didn't intend to, I came here looking for you. It just happened."

"I knew it," Jake pushed away from the table.

"Jake," Derek stood to go after his boyfriend.

"I can't do this, Derek. Competing with him...it's too hard. You're so in love with him and I'm jealous," Jake turned to Stiles then. "You have no clue what you gave up. I'll never understand what he sees in you."

Stiles felt those words like a punch to the gut. He had given Derek up and for what? A job? A new life? Not a day went by that he didn't miss Derek.

Jake stepped by with Derek on his heels pleading with him not to go.

"I didn't realize Jake hated you as well," Laura bit down on her bottom lip.

"He only hates him cause Derek's still in love with Stiles," Malia shrugged.

Stiles dropped his eyes. He wished that were true, but judging by the way he rushed after Jake, he highly doubted it.

"Stiles, I can't believe you're here," Cora distracted from the previous conversation then as she took her seat at the table.

Stiles tried to concentrate on the conversations at hand through dinner, and not on the fact that Derek hadn't shown back up. He knew it wasn't his business, but he desperately wanted to know what had happened between Derek and Jake.

After dinner, Stiles said his goodbyes and Laura thanked him again.

He debated calling Derek on the way to his hotel, but he realized he didn't even know if the number was the same. He somehow doubted it.

Trudging down the hall, he fished in his pockets for his room key. He looked up and stopped short when he saw Derek eagerly push himself off the floor in front of his door.

"Stiles," his tone was thankful and hopeful, and his face looked like he'd been crying.

Stiles remained unmoving; the room key held in his fingers.

"Scott told me where you were staying," Derek gestured to Stiles' door behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Stiles found himself asking.

"I hoped we could talk," Derek swallowed nervously.

"Yes, cause that's gone so well for us here lately," Stiles rolled his eyes, finally stepping forward to unlock his door.

Derek bowed his head as if he were personally responsible for their fights. "Please, Stiles."

The desperation in Derek's tone made Stiles falter. He paused before he pushed the door the rest of the way open.

"I don't know that Jake would be terribly happy about that," Stiles kept the animosity out of his tone. It was clear Derek wasn't here to fight.

"Jake broke up with me."

Stiles whirled around. So that was the reason for the tears. "Oh." Was all Stiles could say.

Derek snorted, "I didn't expect you to be sad about it, but a little sympathy would be nice. It is your fault after all." There was still somehow no anger in Derek's tone.

Stiles instantly felt guilty, "I'm sorry that I was the reason for the breakup. The last thing I wanted is to hurt you...again."

"I know," Derek went to step forward but hesitated. "May I?"

Stiles nodded, stepping aside, allowing Derek into the room.

"I didn't know you were what changed Laura's mind," Derek started, his back to Stiles.

"She asked you to move out. I got angry," Stiles explained.

"She's treating me like nothing ever happened. She apologized and told me she needed to clear her head. She said she had a bit of help but..." Derek turned then to face Stiles.

"It was my fault she knew. You weren't ready and I pushed you, even after all these years I was still pushing you and I'm sorry. I should have been understanding," Stiles avoided Derek's eyes. Those were words he'd practiced saying a thousand times but never thought he'd get the chance to. And then when he saw Derek again, the anger came back.

"I'm sorry too, for making you wait. I shouldn't have expected you to put your life on hold for me, that wasn't fair."

"I thought about us a lot," Stiles toed the thread bare carpet below his feet. "I think that maybe it just wasn't the right time, you know?"

"What about now?" Derek's voice was small, like he wasn't sure he wanted Stiles to hear what he was saying.

Stiles' head snapped up, "What?"

"I understand if it's too late and you've moved on from us but...Jake left me because he said he couldn't compete with my feelings for you. I tried to tell him I didn't have any, but I knew it was a lie. I never stopped loving you. It might not have been the right time then, but maybe now is," Derek's teeth sank into his bottom lip.

"You could really forgive me for leaving you? For choosing college and a career over staying here with you?" Stiles didn't think he'd ever earn Derek's forgiveness.

"You waited two years. That's longer than most people would wait. You lost your dad and needed out, I should have understood that, but I was being selfish. I think we were both being selfish and maybe that's what we needed. I wasn't ready to come out and you couldn't stay. But I'm out now and you're already gone. We can take things slow, make sure it's still the same and maybe..." Derek swallowed. "Maybe I could find a job out in Virginia. My sisters would understand. My lease is up in eight months."

Stiles tried to shove down the giddy feelings in his chest. This couldn't be real. "You're serious."

"There's nothing I regret more than not going with you, Stiles."

"There's nothing I regret more than leaving you behind," Stiles stepped forward.

A hopeful look crossed Derek's face. "Is that a yes?"

"I'd love nothing more," Stiles couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips.

Derek seemed to deflate with relief. He bowed his head, leaning his forehead against Stiles'. "God, I've missed you."

Stiles slid his hands into Derek's the way he used to. He was surprised by how easy it was. How natural. Like it was just yesterday and not three years ago. "I missed you too, Der."

Derek pressed his lips to Stiles' forehead next and Stiles felt tears sting his eyes. There was nothing in the world he missed more than this.


End file.
